We all know the drill: smiling through discomfort, saying yes when we mean no, and constantly putting others’ needs ahead of our own. For many, people-pleasing is second nature, but what if that compulsion to always be ‘good’ is actually doing more harm?
A groundbreaking study published in Psychological Medicine has revealed a connection between emotional suppression, chronic people-pleasing, and gut inflammation, suggesting that our need to keep everyone else happy may be sabotaging our health.
Gut feeling
The gut and brain are in constant communication via the gut-brain axis, with the vagus nerve playing a pivotal role.
“When we’re constantly suppressing emotions or focused on pleasing others, our nervous system can remain in a heightened state of stress, often stuck in ‘fight or flight’ mode,” says Dr Will Cole, author of Gut Feelings. This prolonged stress can wreak havoc on our gut health, disturbing digestion, damaging the gut lining, and leading to inflammation.
Will calls it ‘shameflammation’.
“When emotions like shame, guilt, and self-abandonment are not dealt with, they contribute to systemic inflammation,” he says. “This creates a cycle of emotional and physical dysfunction.”
Essentially, unresolved emotional stress manifests physically as gut issues such as bloating, constipation, food sensitivities, and more.
People pleasing and gut health
Research in psychoneuroimmunology – a field that explores the relationship between the nervous system and immune function – has shown that suppressing emotions can elevate cortisol and inflammatory markers. Elevated cortisol impacts gut function by altering the microbiome and creating inflammation.
“Stress and suppressed emotions also reduce vagal tone, which usually helps calm the gut and bring us into a state of ‘rest and digest,’” explains Xuxa Milrose, nutritionist at OMNI Wellness.
A 2019 study published in Nature Microbiology found that individuals with depression often have lower levels of certain gut bacteria, including Coprococcus and Dialister. These bacteria are crucial for producing short-chain fatty acids (SCFAs) like butyrate, which have anti-inflammatory properties and are essential for brain health. When these beneficial bacteria are reduced, inflammation increases, contributing to symptoms of depression and anxiety.
The impact our mood has on our gut health has been well-documented over the last few years. It’s no coincidence that unresolved stress (often caused by people-pleasing) is front and centre.
As Xuxa explains: “Chronic stress can lead to elevated cortisol, which downregulates gut function. This affects food breakdown, absorption, and increases gut permeability, commonly referred to as ‘leaky gut.’”
The compromised gut lining allows undigested food particles and toxins to enter the bloodstream, triggering inflammation and exacerbating gut issues.
Symptoms you need to know
So, how does a people-pleasing gut show up?
Will says it might appear with uncomfortable symptoms like bloating, constipation, or diarrhoea. But the impact can also be more deep-rooted than digestion.
“Fatigue, brain fog, and hormonal imbalances are also common signs of disrupted gut health,” Will explains.
“Chronic stress and emotional suppression can change the composition and function of the gut microbiota,” adds Xuxa.
A reduction in beneficial bacteria like Lactobacillus and Bifidobacterium, as well as an overgrowth of harmful bacteria, creates a feedback loop that perpetuates inflammation and stress sensitivity.
Food for thought
It may sound bleak but there is good news. With a few lifestyle tweaks, our gut health can be turned around.
As Xuxa explains, a healthy gut requires specific nutrients to function optimally. “Probiotics and prebiotics are key,” she says.
The former includes foods such as yoghurt, kefir, kimchi, and sauerkraut, to help populate the gut with beneficial bacteria. This can help to improve gut integrity and reduce inflammation.
“Probiotics support the gut barrier and can improve gut microbiome diversity, which is vital for both digestion and mood regulation,” Xuxa says.
In addition, specific strains of probiotics like Lactobacillus rhamnosus, Lactobacillus plantarum, and Bifidobacterium longum have been linked to reduced anxiety and depression. It’s important to note that not all probiotics are created equal, and it’s essential to select strains that are specifically targeted to your needs.
Prebiotics are equally important in supporting gut health. These include high-fibre foods, such as garlic, onions, bananas, and oats. By feeding the beneficial bacteria in your gut, prebiotics help probiotics to thrive and produce short-chain fatty acids.
Extra support
For an additional hit of nutrition, Xuxa suggests adding these six gut-friendly food powerhouses to your next shopping list:
- Omega-3 fatty acids: Found in fatty fish like salmon, walnuts, and flaxseeds. They help to reduce inflammation and improve brain function.
- B Vitamins: Especially B6, B9 and B12. They help to support neurotransmitter synthesis and energy metabolism. Deficiencies in these vitamins are linked to mood disorders.
- Magnesium: Found in leafy greens, dark chocolate, and avocados. Helps to promote relaxation, supporting both gut health and emotional balance.
- Tryptophan: Found in foods like turkey, eggs, and chickpeas. It’s essential for producing serotonin, a neurotransmitter that plays a crucial role in mood regulation.
- Zinc: Found in oysters, beef, and pumpkin seeds. Helps to maintain gut barrier integrity and reduces inflammation, playing a role in regulating anxiety and depression.
- Polyphenols: Found in foods like berries, green tea, and olive oil. These are antioxidants that help fight inflammation, boost immunity, and support gut microbiome diversity.
Pushing boundaries
Healing our gut goes hand in hand with emotional healing.
“You can’t heal a body you hate,” Will says. “Take intentional time each day to observe your emotions without judgement.”
By doing so, we can help bring our nervous system into a balanced state – one that supports both our gut and emotional health.
Will’s tips for emotional and nutritional healing include:
- Mindful eating: Slow down and savour each bite to help your gut absorb nutrients more effectively.
- Stress-reduction practices: Meditation, breathwork, and spending time in nature can help reduce inflammation and restore gut function.
- Nourishing foods: Prioritise gut-healing foods like fermented products, fibre-rich vegetables, and omega-3 fatty acids.
Healing the gut requires more than just nourishing foods – it also means reconnecting with our emotions and setting healthy boundaries. By practicing mindfulness, choosing nourishing foods, and prioritising our wellbeing, we can heal both our gut and our mind.
